Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Midnight at the Double Douche 4

Now to the uninitiated passing through the swinging door and into a the strippers dressing area would likely seem like taking a step from a grimy club and into some sort of harem fantasy. Where naked women would be lunging here there and everywhere discussing notes on customers, impossible sexual techniques and how they want to introduce one to the other.

Sadly I am now about to destroy that image. It's more like a locker room with well set up lights, women in various stages of undress talking about the assholes in the crowd or being catty to one another with discussions on pulled muscles sore hands and the joy of menstruation and how to keep performing despite it.

Another plus is that the women who work the stage are used to being in the buff so when a guy comes walking in it doesn't provoke panicking and freaking out. You know like that time Jon somehow found himself in the locker room of the girls basketball team. (As usual we had to go in and rescue him from a savage beating he seemed to be enjoying.) Instead they just kind of look up and return to what they were doing.

I walked over to Fiona's chair where she was adjusting her makeup and took a seat in a folding metal chair. She turned her head and looked at me. First I got a blank look as she wondered what I wanted, then she looked again. "Milwaukee?"

"Bonus points if you guess the year." I replied. She thought again.

"I was still making movies back then, so I'll say 1991."

"I guess I owe you.. uh something."

"A glass of tea would be nice." She said.

I reached into my jacket and pulled out a zip log bag with several tea bags. "Your choices today are Earl Grey, Japanese green and crushed gun powder. We'll have to see about hot water later." She came forward and hugged me.

"Hi Mick."

"Oh how nice you remembered." I sad setting the ea bags aside.

"It's hard to forget the guy who got cut keeping some clown from giving me a forced vaginal exam. Sorry I missed you after. I left a gift for you, but had to catch a flight as soon as the day was done." She pulled back and I unabashedly stared at her breasts.

"Sadly I never got it. What was it?"

"Hang around till the place closes and you'll find out." She said standing and moving to a small closet and sorting through outfits.

"That does sound like a great promise. But we might get run out of town first." I said.

"Okay now it does sound like old times." She said as she pulled off a red and black sequined number and began to work herself into it. "What are you up to?"

To my eyes it seemed like the outfit slid up her body of her own volition. The purple pills clearly had me in their sway.  I took a moment to enjoy the show. She grinned and showed off. "Thanks for showing a lady some desire." Her smile was quite genuine.

"Hey my eyes go where they want, and apparently they like being there." I said with a smile.

"Now seriously what are you up to?" She asked sitting down as someone put a Rage against the Machine song on the stereo.

"We're gonna trash the machinery someone is using to pimp Rush Limbaugh's new book, and then most likely the person himself." I said.

Fiona gave me a smile and sat in my lap. "Dear if you'd do that my week would be completely made. There might even be something in it for you." Her finger trailed over my face and I could feel a definite stirring. Her body had an aura now of a warm green, a very lush color. Voices were telling me to indulge a few whims I'd wanted to since the mid 80's.

I put those thoughts aside for a bit. Here I was in the middle of God knows where and on a mission. Hopefully Miss Fiona would be kind enough to wait. "So you know who I'm talking about?" I asked as she trailed a finger up my leg. Seriously I was gonna focus any second now.

"Yeah every girl here knows Carl he's the silent partner in this joint and feels that means he gets free access to every girls pussy." She paused. "Every girl, maybe a guy or two, possibly a sheep he keeps on his property. The man is one giant tub of trouble with a little tiny penis and too large of an ego. Rumor has it his favorite thing to hear when he's fucking is screams."

"So not your type then." I said with a wink.

"Not even close. Anything I can do to help?"

Suddenly an angel appeared on one shoulder and a demon on my other. Then another demon appeared by the angel sapped it behind the ear and dragged it off. "Now that I have you all to myself." The demon said. "I just wanted to make sure you get this clown as messed up as you possibly can."
"Really? I needed you to tell me that? Seriously am I just one walking talking outgrowth of my id now that even the demon's ideas don't seem shocking." I thought.

"You seem a little lost there." Fiona said.

"Hang on I'm arguing with a demon on my shoulder." I replied.

"Oh you get that too? Mine usually tells me to see how many girls I can get to play with me after work. In each town I'm in."  She said with a grin.

"Just girls?" I asked.

"Some guys too, but when I'm travelling girls are more fun to play with and less messy." The demon on my shoulder had paused his temptation to listen to her talk and nodded appreciatively. "I like her." He said. "Now then if that fucker doesn't wake up tomorrow in a pool of his own urine wondering why he's under a donkey you sir are a fucking loser...."

I swatted the demon from my shoulder. "Here's what I need you to do for me." I smiled at Fiona and she grinned. As I outlined the plan she smiled and brought her hands to her mouth. "OH my god that's so evil. I'm in."

"Then when we're done we'll have tea."

"Excellent." She said standing up. "Let's get to work."

No comments:

Post a Comment