When did we?

So Im curious, at what point in the greater internet timeline did people simply lose the ability to communicate effectively? I'm genuinely curious because lately more so than ever it seems like the level of debate we see out there in the world of social media looks more and more like a riot sponsored by Jaegermeister and the makers of fresh minty crack.

If I may give a humble opinion part of it can be summed by an image macro I saw on a friends page on the might Facebook. Keep in mind, this is a friend of mine who has the biggest heart in the world, but is fairly conservative. Yet we still talk to each other like people because, ya know, personal respect and all.
The Macro had text that went something like this.

"If someone says you have offended them, GOOD! That means you have stood for what you believed in, keep doing it."

I'm paraphrasing, my memory is a bit dodgy on the specifics but that was the message. Now what this message really does is encourage people to limit the ability to communicate. If you pass along some sort of horrible shocking thing that offends people, you'll get a lot of attention. Some serious flaming, and heat from people who read it and lost the ability to think, but in the end what you won't get is a coherent discussion of whatever the subject of your thing was in the first place.

Communication happens in a area where people feel free to speak to one another on a more or less playing field. That field tilts pretty hard when one of the people is going out of their way to make the other person unreasonably angry, before the conversation even begins.

Lately it seems as though social media is empowering people to have a voice, which would be awesome, except that the first they tend to do with it is announce something really loudly and can't believe when others don't share their views. Then it kind of degenerates into a battle of who can spout what piece of information at the other. And by information I mean "Something I read on an op ed page so it has to be true."

Seriously I have seen three major post fights break out on my Facebook this weekend. Often spurred on by some individual who either has chosen to view their opinion as fact, decided not to notice when someone else posted a refutation of their argument. Or simply jumped in and trolled the posts for the lulz (I know who you are, and you will pay.) But usually by about the third or fourth posts the battlements have been manned and the war is on.

Which in a way would be okay if we could have a war of ideas that was about actual communication than turning a discussion into yet another on line version of a Jerry Springer episode, where one person stands up and acts as dysfunctional as possible  and then everyone else stands watches and replies, finding it hard to believe that anyone would talk like that.

So here, let me give ya some hints as to how to maybe approach a online, social media discussion to keep it interesting but reduce the amount of dysfunction?

Okay first off let's remember a basic thing, somewhere on the other end of the fiber optic line is another person. Maybe you might want to scale your statements with the idea of how you would speak to them in person. The lack of proximity to the people you are talking to often reminds of George Carlin's bit about how much of an asshole a person is based on how far away they are.

If you are about to hit enter and you feel smug about the message you're going to send? Yeah read it again. Most likely you're message is going to make it worse rather than better. Might be time to re edit your comment. Try some wit, watch Stephen Fry, or Eddie Izzard. They could tell me to go fuck myself and I'd likely ask them where they keep the lube. The smug guy just makes me want to paste him in front of his family.

Third if you're trolling just to stir shit up, maybe you should consider growing up. There's room for all sorts of behaviour but when it comes to trolling leave it to the pros. The b/tards have a lock on this behaviour, and do it way better than you. What you think gives you a giggle makes me shrug perhaps groan a little, and then makes me think far far less of you as a human being.

Lastly get out and talk to actual people. From outside you're own little world. go hang out see things and do stuff. I see way too many people in this social world who apparently only hang out with others of their own gib. Trust me life is way more entertaining when you have a broad palette of people to interact with.

Sadly I have a feeling I'll be getting back to this subject.

So as I leave let me part with this.

 George Carlin discusses assholes